SELF PROMOTION & OTHER FORMS OF PRIDE

Promoting my own work is an emotional roller-coaster. Against my will, I despair at the frequent advice from the publisher about all that is needed to be an effective self promoter. I fear I can't possibly even make the goal for advance sales. I have a self conscious streak that shrinks from too much or too personal attention to me, afraid of being "found out" as a fraud, or, worse, as who I really am, etc. And I have a measure of agoraphobia. One time, I left a rally (for health care, I think) at the State Capitol Hall of Flags because people were packed in too close to me.  Such self consciousness (imagining that people are paying that much attention to me, negative or otherwise) is a form of narcissism.

And then I hear from friends congratulating me, I know it is all worth it for that high if nothing else. And I felt euphoric from the Friday night reading of poems from Chance & Choice at the second art show of my son's work. His drawing of Adam and Eve with the serpent is on the cover of the book. 

The event was packed, biggest audience, they said, they have ever had at this venue for a First Friday event. You can read and see more about it below. I am ashamed to admit I almost understand Trump's addiction to YUGE audience attention. One friend I shared this with ordered me not to compare myself with Trump. 

So here I sit still in the after-glow of warm attention I felt at the 1st Friday event, and the poems I read share some of the most personal experiences of my life, disclosing "who I really am." The relationship between reader and author, each solitary while under the spell of the reading or writing activity, is surely one of the most intimate experiences of our lives. More intimate than sex, this deepest sharing of one's mind. And it makes me anxious every time I prepare to read.

The publishing process for this little book seems to be distracting me from the fear and rage of the terrible 2016 election and the terrible state of our politics in general. Since the election, I have hardly read anything except advice about promoting my product. 

Even so, I am planning to participate in a rally,  the 3rd in 3 years, to protect our local area from the threat posed by another legislative attempt to weaken environmental protection rules and allow open-pit mineral mining of Bald Mountain, an extremely toxic site virtually certain to  pollute local waters with arsenic and sulphuric acid in perpetuity. In town hall meetings and elsewhere, our governor calls us "job killers," "one of the greatest enemies of the state of Maine," "zealots." I know, pride is one of the 7 deadly sins, and I confess it: I am proud to be a warrior in the fight for clean water, air, & soil; to be a combatant against the forces of greed and power lust driving the destruction of life on our planet.  It is as important to me as poetry. It feeds my motivation to write poetry.

March 3, 2017 is the release date for the book. Advance sales determine the size of the press run. If you are interested, you can place your order now at https://www.finishinglinepress.com/product/chance-choice-by-alice-bolstridge/ .